Building a Christian Home in a Worldly Environment
The world is such a delicate place to live for the Christian that is heavenly minded because the things that are in the world as the scripture describes it are: the lust of the flesh the lust of the eyes. Most of the things around here that make for enjoyment are highly sensual and deadly and there are so many distractions from the right track of life.
Building up a family that is Godly in a worldly environment is like building up a house of mud in torrential rain or setting up a canopy camp when the wind is boisterous. The challenges facing the building of a Christian home in today world are quite challenging and difficult. There is no amount of policing a parent can do to shield the children completely from the juicy and temptation and the attraction that the way of men offers.
The agents of corruption and socialization so to say are too many to be tamed. The audio-visual teaches the younger and the adult things they never wished to learn and even if you refused to have one in your home there are a thousand of them on the street used for adverts and they are so strategically positioned for your attention. The rhythm of music has no respect for anyone. Unconsciously you will sometimes find yourself shaking to the rhythm of music coming from the musician you hate to associate with.
There are other types of influences coming from your immediate neighbourhood. What you are trying to keep away from your family is at the next door and taunted to your family as if to say there is nothing wrong with these after all. Most of the things we are teaching our children never to do is being done by our neighbours and children with impunity to the extent that a time comes when the person playing the role of a teacher becomes confused and disillusioned.
There are other issues affecting the family building; these are interpersonal relationship at home. The relationship and mode of behavior of the members of a particular family can make or mar the proper building up of that home. The challenges of modern job: closing late at office; sexual advances and temptations from colleagues; and suspicion from spouses are issues that cannot be ignored.
Also there is a kind of frustration in the world because of the inability of man to predict accurately his future and to see the hidden things that others are not willing to reveal. A lot of wrong assumptions and judgments are made about others that are not completely true and we use these as yardsticks for measuring people and their behaviours.
What then can we do in the midst of all these to build up a Godly family in a corrupt world? Jesus offers us solution in Matthew 10: 16 and I quote:
16 ¶ Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.
Our Lord Jesus offers just two solutions: wisdom and peace
We can solve most of the modern day challenges if we abide by these two solutions. The book of proverbs 9:1-6 tells us that wisdom has seven pillars and I want to begin to discuss what each of these pillars mean to me.
Wisdom to me is patience, perseverance and willingness to learn. An impatience man cannot build a family and if by chance he builds one he will sooner or later pull it down himself by what he does and what he fails to do.
Wisdom makes you learn from the breakthrough or mistake of others. It is only a fool who would refuse to learn from others. Do not imagine that you can ever be an island to yourself in matters of learning, the little knowledge learnt here and there will be to you an added advantage. There was this story of a power drunken Alafin of Oyo Kingdom who made impossible demands from the youth of Ile Ife. He was asking them to make for him a rope of clay for riding his horse and failure to meet his demand would mean death to them all. Days gone by and no one knows how to make a rope of clay. One of the youth went to an elderly person to seek for advice and the old man said tell the Alafin of Oyo to show you the sample of the broken one which he had. Since the Alafin’s demand was a ruse that could not be met, the request of the youth also could not be met. The wisdom from the old man saved them from annihilation. If you are having problem with building up your family try doing it with wisdom from others and you will succeed.
Another wisdom we need to learn is that there is time for everything. Eccl. 3:1-8. Before you act on something please make sure you are acting at the right time. In time of war you can kill an enemy of your country and you will be praised for it but if you do that when war has not been declared officially, the state you are fighting for will personally hand you over to the authority of that country whose citizen you have killed. There is the time to correct your spouse or children there are other times to keep silent as if you are not aware of what is going on. Never speak angrily to an angry man in his moment of anger. There are moments at home when a member becomes angry (Moment of madness) do not join in that madness if you are wise.
Wisdom makes you to understand that all things are not achievable by force. Wisdom is greater than force by all standards. Family imbroglio matters cannot be resolved by force but by wisdom induced patience. Wisdom can bring down at once a great mountain that one thousand strong men cannot do in ten days. Stop the usage of threat over your family members in order to obtain their obedience. Voluntary obedience is better that coerced obedience.
There are so many people who have learnt wisdom but they fail to apply it when it is needed. Wisdom that is learnt must be applied to our benefit. Many parents have resulted to harassing every other members of the family when things go wrong. When money is missing or a plate broken in the kitchen and everyone claims innocence, parents result to flogging, embarrassing, and abusing everyone in other to discover the culprit. That is wrong; you should use wisdom to discover the culprit. Solomon applied wisdom to discover the real mother of the living child. If you used the wrong method to obtain the truth, the innocent people punished with the culprit will forever hate you and see you as a wicked man.
Avoid too much complaint in your relations with your family members. If something is not done properly do it yourself to show it by example how things should be done instead of complaining all the time. If your wife does not know how to cook well go to the kitchen to prove it
Here are some Biblical passages that will help you to relate well in worldly environment;
Prov. 15:1. Learn to answer softly. Softly spoken word can melt a stony heart.
Prov. 14:1. Wise person build his/her house. A person of such keeps family matter within the family circle. It is a mad person who washes his dirty pants and spread outside for all to see. There was a story of a woman who always complained about her husband coming late home to strangers. One day she complained to a man who pitied her condition and helps her to murder the husband without her knowledge. When the husband died and the woman was weeping the killer called her on phone to say ‘I hope you are okay now, I have helped you to kill your husband so you can have peace’. You should be careful of what you discuss about your family so that you don’t get sympathy from a hired killer.
I Cor. 13:4-7. Let there be genuine love in the home.
Col. 4;1. Treat your housemaids who are in charge of your children and the food you eat as you will treat your own children.
Col. 3: 18. Wives should submit to their own husband. Why should this be so? I don’t have the answer just as I cannot answer why God made me a male or a female. God planned it that way so there can be orderliness.
Col. 3:20 Children obey your parents. If you don’t obey you will face the music alone. Everyone will dance to his own kind of music.
I Thess. 5:17. Those who want peace in their homes should endeavour to pray for it.
Phil.4:5. Be moderate in all you do.
Sometimes I do want to find out why things happened the way they do. I have discovered that when you are driving behind another car and you see that automobile going from one side of the road to the other, do not blame the car. It could be that the driver was drunk or his mind is not stable. The driver to be blame when things go wrong in your family is you. Before you ever blame anyone else please blame yourself and do what is right. God bless you.